A list of the do’s and don’ts for the inexperienced puppy
We explore some of the funny moments puppy owners will experience as a new puppy parent.
1. Throwing Up
When you feel a vomit coming, quickly get onto an expensive oriental carpet or better still a shag pile rug!
Get plenty of sleep in the daytime so that you are fresh between midnight and 4am. Never under any circumstances sleep in your own bed. The laps of your family are warm and comfy. Owners will soon learn not to move in order that they might disturb you if they do. If you outgrow laps (although not likely, not matter what breed you are) feet make great pillows.
Please, do not allow any closed doors in any room. To get one open, stand on your hind legs and scratch. Once the door is open, you don’t necessarily have to use it. You can change your mind several times in the process.
never eat food from your own bowl if you can beg or steal from the table. Do not settle for a well-balanced diet of puppy food. Refusing to eat will eventually lead to being offered cooked chicken, fresh liver, or a nice rump steak!
5. Toilet time
When you need to go to the toilet, make sure you go onto the carpet, not the tiled floors. And when taken outside, sniff around for at least half an hour, (good time to do this is in winter)and when your people give up and bring you back inside, go immediately on the carpet. Stand or sit in it, then run around the house madly while your people try and catch you!
Determine quickly which guest’s dislikes dog. Sit on their lap, chew at their shoes, or pee on their expensive handbags. Jump up at them constantly (with muddy feet of course) then just sit and stare at them with your puppy eyes for making them feel bad for getting angry at you!